Flashpoint
I hated Flashpoint, it was such a stupid comic.
Okay, the premise of an alternate timeline where things WENT WRONG, that is cool.
But the key is, you pick a fucking event, and you go from there.
Flashpoint had a few good ideas (and a bunch of stupid ones)
But the thing is, none of them were related. Yes it was all revealed to be a plot by Professor Zoom altering the timelines, which is shitting dicknipples of stupid.
Cool ideas: Bruce Wayne Died, his Parents coped by becoming Batman and the Joker.
Aquaman basically being Namor.
Cyborg getting respect.
The Outsider
Terrible Ideas:
Superman being part of an eeeevil government project (because that has NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE EXCEPT BY EVERYONE EVER) The comic turned out okay, but such a tired concept.
Wonder Woman and the Amazons being at war with Atlantis.. okay? no.
Captain Marvel being Captain Planet.
Hal Jordan.
Everything Else.
It was a comic with no real logic or history, and when you compare it to the Age of Ultron which if you read the current stuff in it, is based around A SINGLE CHANGE THAT EVERYTHING ELSE WOULD COME OUT OF.
Let’s say it was just a comic where Bruce Wayne died and Thomas Wayne became Batman, everything else happened, except it wouldn’t. Thomas Wayne wouldn’t have adopted Dick Grayson, no Dick, no Titans. Thomas Wayne didn’t trust, so no Batman in the Justice League, in fact, maybe no Justice League, maybe without Batman they would have fallen apart?
But the event had to be about The Flash.. and instead of being interesting, and having the Flash be connected in a real way to the events, in some sort of “It’s a Wonderful Life” all the bad things happened not because of his absence from existing but due to his foe changing things.
It’s shitty.
It was a fucking hackwork and did nothing to salute and send-off the rich history of the DC Universe.
They could even have gone with a World Without Flash, and it would HAVE BEEN AWESOME, but again, everything was changed due to bullshit.
Also the whole way DC hyped was “what changed? what is different? why?” Fans couldn’t figure it out, because there was nothing to peace together, because there was no history to dive into. Also many of the comics were so heavily focused on “The mystery of the twist” that once you know, and you go back and read them? Most suck as comic books.
And the core Flashpoint book? The worst.
Issue #1 SHOCK: BRUCE WAYNE ISN’T BATMAN!
Also every fucking panel of Barry is him going “OMG! WHAT IS GOING ON!” he also doesn’t even take a moment before driving to Gotham to google BRUCE WAYNE or ANYONE AT ALL. Like serious stupid shit. It’s poorly paced.
Issue #2
More exposition, character names dropped because, people die, lots of shitty writing and good art. Barry Allen electrocutes and douses himself with acid because you need a big twist. Professor Zoom is shown to be the bad guy.
#3 Several pages spent showing that Barry is so dedicated and brave and “crazy like a fox” because he wants to get hit by lightning again. Good way to burn a bunch of pages instead of just having him get his powers back at the end of #2. Oh cool, then some exposition on time travel and the butterfly effect. Oh fucking boy. A bunch more crossover characters to get you to buy the 1 shots and minis associated with Flashpoint. Oh and the cliffhanger is a guy who can outrun bullets, a guy who can techo-do-whatever- and BATMAN with a bunch of dudes pointing guns at them. If you notice, some of the guys are holding rifles AND pistols, holding a rifle one handed is a terrible idea, also many have placed guns next to their friend’s heads. These guys are all going to be deaf by page 4 of the next issue.
#4 More talking and I guess those normal looking guns shoot lasers? okay. Element Woman is kind of cool. Billy Batson is a douche, and the talk about FAMILY makes me want to vomit, jebus Johns, I thought you were better. Oh and they introduce the Flash to characters about a dozen times in this issue. Then Enchantress betrays everyone? i assumed she would because I’ve read Marvel comics. Then Billy Batson gets murdered by Wonder Woman and she and Aquaman used to be in love or something but now it’s all hate and genocide. Then the shock ending is Reverse-Flashing showing up and mockingly saying it’s barrys fault.
#5 Oh it’s all Barry’s fault whatever. Ugh. Fuck this comic. But it involves a Noogie so hard it causes memories to appear.
And more exposition and blah blah blah blah blah, suddenly the bad guy is murdered. Then fighting? Then Superman shows up out of nowhere and more characters whose only lines have been to say their name.
Oh and suddenly Barry has to stop himself so his mom will die and nothing will change. Still no explanation for why his one action changed everything else. Then he has to combine Vertigo and Wildstorm in DC, because. And draw some lines on his costume. Batman also gets the emotional payoff.
Other things:
Geoff Johns Literalism.
SO MANY TALKS ABOUT LIGHTNING AND SHOCKS.
And Barry having the flash icon in his eyes.
Because get it, the flash is lightning.
Because Geoff Johns Literalism.
tl;dr Flashpoint is garbage and Geoff Johns is the Michael Bay of comics.
I hate how Geoff Johns does Superheroes, it’s so fucking tacky.
first of all, “not interfere” that is fucking bullshit.
Every time you reach out to help someone, that is interfering. Not interfering means doing nothing, not helping, not flying in aid, not helping people reconstruct, not helping to cause negotiations and talk.
This is shitty writing and a shitty comic.
Then the final line as the coup de grace of stupid bullshit of trying to make superheroes edgy, just fuck.
I hate this whole thing.
Wonder Woman
titenoute submitted:
…hmmmm
i had to do something for this master piece, posted here
….ok that’s how it actually look…now, how about this ?
a bit better but….still something off with the waist….
…not perfect, sorry, but it’s less painful for her spine and our eyes now…
Why is there a tiny wonder woman in the bottom left?
That is the worst fucking pun.
“you forced my hand.. to CHOKE YOU!”
When Bruce told Dick to go buy himself new clothes, the Boy Wonder planned only to buy some Superman shoes to anger Bat a little, but after entering a superhero clothing shop, he had gone with the flow. Then, he Zeta’d to Mt. Justice and ran around the cave screaming “I’m Robin, the Boy Justice!” Well, until Bruce showed up and according to Rob, he wasn’t feeling the aster.
Boy Justice, by Hanna Bryda.
^ THE IRONY
Thanks to the godawful developments over in Justice League, this scene now totally looks like it’s Wonder Woman and Superman reacting to the absolute stupidity of them being paired up over in that series
Clark has read the latest issue and he’s not happy about it
Diana is just all ‘Pffftt, Clark, don’t let it get to you’
So yeah, basically the Justice League are a bunch of selfish dicks who don’t care about humanity.
I love Superman’s blow-off at the end, that this Justice League isn’t about Justice, but about beating up big monsters.
He also was unable to find anyone to take care of the hamsters.
Because they are diiicks.
(Source: seinemajestat, via actioncomics)
JH Williams III can DRAW. Dave Stewart is an amazing colorist.
These 2 panels sum up everything that is wrong with Geoff Johns in recent years.
Why?
Superman wants to help.. because he wants Diana to like him.. not because he is a good person who goes “someone is missing? lets fucking find them” instead he is a selfish prick who only cares because the missing person impacts someone in his life. Not thinking about the bigger picture and doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.
No, these fucking “Heroes” only do shit if it affects their lives, if it’s PERSONAL, that is not what a hero does.
Johns has been ruining DC by making everything personal and to the core of a hero, which you know.. an arc or two about it being personal is good, but when everything becomes so centered on the heroes, they just become a protagonist, no longer fighting the better world and justice, but for their own wants.
Aquaman has been entirely selfish, Justice League as well, they only fought Darkseid because he attacked them, and Graves was just going after them, they don’t give a fuck about the rest of the world.
Then the implication that Diana doesn’t help with Lex Luthor because it’s not her problem.. fucking shitty.
This is why I hate Green Lantern now, it’s all about a selfish journey. Everyone is in it for themselves. I don’t know if it’s a line-wide push, but I’ve noticed it in a lot of books, that the conflict is centered on the hero and comes to them, rather than seeking out the problem and fighting against it.
It’s part of why I’m really loving Batgirl, because for the last year, she went after bad guys because it was the right thing to do, not because it was personal, this arc? it’s personal.. but generally Babs fights crimes that aren’t about her.
I just get this sense in some books, like Aquaman, that he would just sit around doing NOTHING if not for bad guys coming after him, that isn’t a hero, that is just a dude with super powers.
Wonder Woman pulls it off, as it’s personal.. but the conflict wasn’t about her, she could have walked away, she knew it would be tough and still choose to do it. That is what a hero does, they do the job that they don’t HAVE to do.
Johns doesn’t really ever give his characters a chance to say no, it diminishes them, he shows them to be selfish cynics who don’t care about the world.
In short.. the comics are shitty, and I’m getting a sense that many of the other DC books are doing that as well, I don’t know if it’s an editorial edict or a individual chosen move, but it’s making the DCu feel like a mean and selfish place.
For others who aren’t loving the current Justice League, try getting your hands on Grant Morrison’s late 90s run. Aquaman manages to be badass without being an asshole, Kyle and Wally make a great team, Batman is at his most paranoid, Martian Manhunter is cool dude, Wonder Woman is a total badass and oh yeah, Superman has depth and nuance.
Plus they fight shit that is actually epic. Like evil planets attacking earth, an army of angels, new teams of evil heroes, a bad guy who is basically the anti-batman.
