I recently resigned from my role as Associate Editor on the Official Xbox Magazine.
I had no idea what an Associate Editor was, until I was made one. One who associates freely with editors, perhaps. One with access to the editor’s restroom, where one is spritzed with editorial fragrances by a team of beautiful publisher-funded swans, who time their honking to conceal your editorly farts.
It was only when my duties and salary didn’t change, that I realised that Associate Editor, in my case at least, is what happens when your boss thinks that having a forty year old staff writer on the team is beginning to make the whole magazine look tragic1.
I’m leaving the games industry to run a pub in Nottingham, but before I leave, I wanted to get my affairs in order. And the only appropriate way to do that is with a list of apologies.
I missed it when it dropped a couple of months back, but Log’s speech on leaving games journalism is extremely funny and heartfelt. Go read.
I am now thinking of the time Log stuck an award I won down his trousers and then licked my head. Not relevant, but local colour, etc.
“In the United States, access to tampons and pads for low-income women is a real problem, too: food stamps don’t cover feminine hygiene products, so some women resort to selling their food stamps in order to pay for “luxuries” like tampons. Women in prison often don’t have access to sanitary products at all, and the high cost of a product that half the population needs multiple times a day, every month for approximately 30 years, is simply, well, bullshit.”—
You know, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anybody suggest that toilet paper or paper towels in public bathrooms shouldn’t be free. We’d consider it outrageous if that very basic necessity were to be missing, or provided only for purchase.
If something passes the Bechdel Test:wow great okay
If something does NOT pass the Bechdel Test:don't freak out - the test is inherently flawed and only takes into consideration a very select and narrow group of variables
If something passes the Sexy Lamp Test:wow great okay
If something does not pass the Sexy Lamp Test:freak out because that means that the story still would have made sense if that particular female character had been replaced by a sexy lamp and that's hella fuckin' sad